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 July 2008
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Sunday, August 3, 2008     [7:39 AM]

heyy ya
my aim for this blog just for everyone to pour out(: hoepfully i get to know your better(:

currently my life is hmmm downhill.. being 18 ain't filled with funn.. ): i thought it was gonna be filled with loads of funnn but nah it isn't.. anyway.. being 18 sighhh MORE expectations on me.. well my parents particularly my mum is "forcing" me to join piano.. i really dun want to.. and well i guess i have been running away from that suffering come problem in my life.. and guess what happened? i am getting so burned now.. my mum is gonna make me stop worship stuff from now on.. cause well she says piano takes pirority.. worship sounds like a distraction from her point of view..

there are 2 ways i can respond.
1. disobey- don't do it, still get banned from worship stuff and yeah be unhappy and think my mum is weird and whatever and she is totally mean and i should hate her and blah blah blah and ultimately let the hate eat me uppp.. i mean its WORSHIP?? its "for" God..
2. obey- don't do any of the above.. *was totally tempted to* but the above argument is really flawed.. because nothing of God ,even "worship stuff" ,will cause you to sin or dishonour your parents.. so this is what i should do..

i should.....
1. pray and ask God for strength
2.find someone to be accountable for keeping me on track of my piano
3.find peace in playing the piano and peace with my mother
4.ask for God's help to find joy in playing the piano
5.commit my lessons to him and ask for guidance in this path in which i am walking on
6. Except God's will for my life in the aspect of worship stuff

its hard people... sigh.. He never said it was gonna be easy.. if you paid attention to sermon today (E3) there will be suffering.. well while growing up my mum use to constantly remind me "obedience is better than sacrifice"... you will sacrifice and compromise your growing relationship with God when you disobey..

i plan to compromise with my mum though.. just praying for the right timing.. i will ask her to allow me to stay in worship ministry and IF i do not keep to my piano lessons den she can take me out of it.. but whaaa *struggle struggle* everyday is a struggle..

WELL all the best peeps((: your have exams.. heh heh.. ((: no worries... just don't forget God peeps...((:

Joanne


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